All silly, little things, really.
Like the fact that my baby is getting four teeth all at once and not sleeping well, which translates to me not sleeping well, which translates to me being very grumpy all the time.
And me being grumpy all the time means I'm often a naggy, irritated wife/mom and then I take out my frustrations on my family. Which makes me feel horrible.
And this time of year is just so darn BUSY. I like busy, but it makes me stressed. And I function poorly when stressed.
And to top it all off, my acne's flaring up (I'm not a teenager! Why do I still have skin problems?!?! For crying out loud!!!!), which basically makes me want to hole up in my house and not let anyone see me. Vain and silly and ridiculously self-conscious? Yes. But it's how I feel.
But today I realized something. I don't have it that bad. My life is wonderful, in fact. And me dwelling on all my little tiny irritations has kept me from noticing all those around me who are much more busy (my husband, for example), who are struggling with much worse, and who may need some encouragement, help, or just a friend.
So let me start over:
I've had a selfish couple of weeks.
I apologize for not noticing. for not reaching out. for not being a better wife, mom, and friend. It's not because I don't love you. I've just been distracted.
I'll keep working on it.
"Try a little harder to be a little better."
Gordon B. Hinckley
Gordon B. Hinckley
7 comments:
aw Katy! Bless your sweet little heart. First of all... I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! ( minus having a baby with 4 teeth coming in.) Of course it's NORMAL to get stressed! It's NOT fun, is it! Sometimes, we just need to sit down.. take a deep breath... maybe sing a hymn or two... and think to ourselves, " It's going to be OK!" ( I tell myself that ALL the time.) You are SO sweet. We are long lost friends that finally found each other on this earth. Let me serve you! Please call me if you're ever in need of someone to vent to... someone to entertain Maddi while you take a nap or run an errand.. anything! Please let me help you. :) And I think you're a great person, mom, and friend- just for the record!
I am sorry! I have been having a really bad couple of weeks too! Thanks for the post. I have a wonderful life and really need to remember that more ofter and be reaching out to people especially being the Christmas season. I am determined to make the rest of this month that way now.
Katy you are an awesome mother, wife and (this one I can vouch for) friend! I can't wait to see you today!
I know how you feel. But if it makes you feel any better - no one ever notices. Your cranky is most people's happy. You are a great example of love, joy, and caring.
Katy, my face is terrible right now, too. I'm convinced it's the change in seasons and the air being so blasted dry. My skin feels the need to be extra oily or something or other. It's quite annoying and I look terrible. But I still love my life.
I have a blog for my journal, and on the side I've got a picture of me and Adam and it says I LOVE MY LIFE on top of it. Every time I go in there to write I see that and it makes me smile and I remember all the things I have to be grateful for. I think I'm going to go add a picture of Darcy on there, too. :)
And trust me, when Darcy was teething I thought I was going to go insane. I almost did. Or maybe I DID. But I got over it and she got her teeth. It will happen. Please remember to come over here or call me if you need to rant. That's what sister in laws are for. ;)
Wow, Katy.
You are such an amazing person and an inspiration. I am in awe how no matter the difficulty, you want to be better, and will face whatever struggles there are to become closer to the person you want to be. Bless you, and thank you for sharing such deep, honest parts of yourself.
(PS - Also you are FAR from alone with the whole teenage face. Fighting it over here, too. My current theory is that it is a combination of one or more of the following: Pollution inversion, allergies, stress, too many sweets, not smiling enough, stress, frustration, guilt, and did I mention stress?
Whatever your personal causes, I hope you will not deny your friends and family the blessing of your presence. While your outward form is a pretty it is your inner light we know that we know and love and crave to be near. You are lovely because you are beautiful from the inside out. * double hugs * ))
ha! That was awesome! Just so you know, even when you are grumpy, you are still nice! Even when your selfish, you still really aren't. I understand the acne thing. I can't believe it happens to you, too! (I thought I was alone...) So, like, I am sooo glad you are my sis-in-law!
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