I called in sick today. Lately, on any day it's a massive struggle just to get myself out of bed and into a hoodie and jeans to go to work. I'm just so exhausted all the time. Like I-climbed-a-mountain,-ran-a-marathon,-and-then-got-hit-by-a-truck
-all-in-one-day;-and-then,-instead-of-being-able-to-sleep-and-let-my
-body-rest,-I-toss-and-turn-all-night-and-have-to-start-the-next-day
-even-more-tired kind of exhausted. But I still have two months to go, so I figure I'll keep working as long as I can in order to keep the time going as quickly as possible.
But today I just couldn't do it. Micah and I are both coming down with a cold, and that combined with my usual exhausted state just did me in. I spent the morning reading the last in a series of "fluffy romance novels" (as my dad calls them) and then attempted to do a load of laundry and organize the closet in the baby's room. After less than two hours of trying to be productive, I was too tired to do anything else- but once I got back in bed I realized I was too hungry to sleep. A bowl of chicken soup and a nap later, I had just enough energy to do the dishes and fold the laundry before going to get Micah from school.
Everyone keeps telling me to get used to this- it doesn't get any better once you have the baby!, they say. I guess if I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life in a half-awake, zombie like trance, at least I'll have a baby to show for it. :) Honestly, it's more than worth it to me. All the sick, uncomfortable, exhausted days (and weeks and months...) are a small price to pay for the incredible privilege it is to be entrusted with one of Heavenly Father's children in our family. There are days when Micah and I just look at each other in absolute amazement and anticipation for this blessing- it's so hard to believe sometimes! We know it will be hard, we have no doubt it will test our patience and strain our relationship (and our budget), but we are excited to take on the challenges that come with having a baby. Our baby. Our baby that will look like us, rely on us, need us; who we can raise and teach and love. I can't wait.
4 comments:
It's true that you just get used to it, but it takes a while. And it gets a lot better when Baby starts sleeping for more than two or three hours at a time. And it is definitely worth it!
Yay! You have such a great outlook. :)
You will get used to being a zombie. I'm still one two years later, but most of it is self-inflicted...
The wait is almost over. What a joy the new year will bring. And what wonderful parents to whom this most precious of miracles will occur. *hugs!*
Oh sweety... so many mommies are pessimistic like that and it tends to make wanting to a be a mommy a little harder. But from one mommy to another, it is worth it, and my almost two year old is so independent that I sometimes don't even realize she is there. It does get easier.. the pain will go away.. the sickness will go away and hey even the exhaustion will not be as overwhelming.
You sound like your doing great and I can tell your going to be one great momma!!!
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